Let me tell you..
Let me tell you…
When I started with this photo thing I was very insecure. Believing in myself? What was that? But at the same time it was something I wanted and liked, so why not try?
Well, everything was going great. I did it very rarely and always with clothes, until one day a photographer wrote to me, whose name I’d rather not mention. He wanted to do lingerie photos. I’d always turned them down because of my insecurity, but that time I said why not? I felt pretty, I felt good; besides, I saw his photographs and, let’s be honest, they were beautiful, although I always wondered why me, when his models were always quite thin, some to the point of not looking healthy. Still, I accepted.
That first time with him was great, nothing strange, until a few days later the insistence began… the “shall we go out?”. I’m always honest, and I told him I wasn’t interested in that. For a while he stopped, then he started again.
Some time had passed and he wrote to me again, this time with a proposal: nudes.
As I told you, I was insecure and for me that was very new and difficult. I accepted anyway; I swear I was so motivated, BUT, yes, here come the buts, he started grumbling during the session, and one of his lovely comments was:
- “hey, is everyone in your family like that?” -
Me - “like what?” -
him - “like kind of chubby, I don’t know” - hinting that he didn’t like the photographs, and guess who was in the photograph!
You should have seen how my world fell apart: my self-esteem, my face, everything. What was the point of all those comments? How much of a coincidence is it that turning down dates leads to this? My God, I let someone see my very soul, and instead of capturing it he destroyed it.
How do you think I was after that? For me it was horrible. I lost all confidence; even though I know perfectly well that looks aren’t everything, you know how that feels after all the time you’ve spent fighting.
And here’s where the good part comes: I met Pralad, a person who little by little gave me back those pieces that had been left so dead. Pralad had written to me a long time before; I was completely shattered back then, but I don’t know if you believe in destiny.
I decided to accept a photo session with him, yes, a nude, my greatest fear, but there I went with the uncertainty of what would happen.
Well, we met, and you should have seen me: I couldn’t have shaken more, I was like a blender, nervous and thinking: what will he say? What if he really thinks I’m too fat? Will I look really ugly? Why did he choose me as his model?
Well, you see, from the very beginning Pralad was always very dedicated to making me feel comfortable, without pressure, letting everything flow. In fact we talked about lots of things and little by little everything came together. The first time Pralad showed me how some of the photos turned out, do you think I believed it was me? That woman so beautiful, with a body I had always dreamed of, like, I don’t know how to explain it. For me it was as if my soul came out again, but this time to shine, to glow. I saw a woman I never thought I had inside, and only he achieved that.
I’ve always told Pralad that I’m grateful to him for absolutely everything, because thanks to him I came back, and better. I felt like a goddess.
What do you think?
I show those photos to everyone, because I’m proud of such tremendous work, and I’m not only talking about these but about all his work. I feel truly lucky to have become part of this, and I look at it with so much affection and admiration, as a beautiful memory that must be repeated.
Every woman should live this experience; we should all remind ourselves this way of who we are, and if we can’t see it ourselves…
how about through other eyes?