All the Secrets
He knows all the secrets. He watches me from every corner, intrudes without respect. Everything is his. I feel his presence even when I can’t see him; I know he’s watching me, looking for me, demanding of me.
Is it too much to ask for some privacy? How hard is it to leave me alone for a moment? We women need time to ourselves.
He doesn’t understand.
NOVEMBER 12, 2022
And if he does understand, he doesn’t let me; he pretends not to hear me, sometimes he even gets angry… I don’t always understand him either.
There’s no intimacy; I lost it, or did I give it away? It doesn’t matter, it doesn’t exist. I don’t know if he judges me. I choose to think he loves me, even when he loses it and marks my body until I bleed.
I love him. I love him deeply. I don’t want to imagine my life without him.
Stay, stay forever. Please don’t go. I’ll do everything. I’ll give you love, warmth, your space if you want peace and quiet, affection every morning when we wake up, I’ll take care of the bills and I promise a special dinner every week.
People know I’m lucky. I always tell them yes, I am. There are people who want him in their lives; they send him greetings, ask about him. Some people, even bolder, send him presents. I don’t worry. He wouldn’t leave me.
They envy him, I don’t blame them. You can’t imagine how many times I’ve had to hear that they want to be him, that they want his life, that it’s the best life.
His life is me. So think, think hard. Do you want me? You have to do it right, because he’s in all my states, in all my moments. Could you? In the end, like it or not, he’s in everything. Crying, laughing, sleeping, making love. Everything. In the bed, the bathtub, the kitchen, the washing machine.
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The washing machine?
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Of course, he’s in everything. Isn’t your cat?